Chinese Food

I saw this commercial in America right before I left where this girl said "The general rule is, if you don't know what it is, don't eat it." I think she was talking about fast food or something. But if I followed that rule here, I would most definitely starve. There aren't as many McDonalds' here as I would have thought. Surprisingly, there are KFC's EVERYWHERE! Chinese like chicken still on the bone because it seems fresher. I guess I can see where they're coming from. There are also a lot of Pizza Huts, but they are done up real fancy like. You have to dress up and comb your hair to go there. Only the rich can afford it, and yet it's the same crap pizza. On the same token, I went to the Chinese version of fast food and the dish I got was exactly like you would get in one of our Chinese restaurants in America. So I guess we're even.

I like Chinese food, especially the stuff where it's like a noodle or a rice bun and there's something inside. Since I rarely know what kind of meat I'm ordering, it's a surprise every time! When I went out with the Korean lot, we went to this place where we had various kinds of meat on sticks. One round came out and "Victor" said to me "try it, and then I'll tell you what it is." And I said "absolutely!" and dug in. It turned out to be goat hamstring. I thought it taisted a bit chewey.

On a final note, when eating dinner with Lance, he ordered like 4 different dishes for the 2 of us, and together, we finished like one and a half. He said that people in Shanghai have bigger eyes than stomaches. Eating with the Koreans again, I discovered that when eating at someone's house, to finish your plate is considered rude. You should leave a little so you don't seem like a begger. So the next time I don't finish my food, and someone says, "there are starving children in China that would love to eat your leftovers," I will say, "Oh yea well I've been there and aparently they do the same thing!"

Yuyuan Gardens

This kid moved in next door to me named Howie. He's a little more adventurous than my previous crew. He's from Austrailia and speaks perfect Chinese. This is great for me because he knew where to go in China and how to order what food. We the metro to the Yuyuan Gardens. There was a bazarre where lots of tourists go and the locals try to sell you things at 5x the price. Still a steal. If I was still going by US dollars, we could both walk away making out like bandits, both feeling like we'd ripped off the others. The gardens themselves are Ming Dynasty acrchitecture (Thank you Howie). In the center of the complex, there is a teahouse on stilts in the middle of a pond. It has 2 zigzag bridges leading up to it because demons can't turn corners. Ok Time out:

A lot of the anciant buildings had doors that opened like a foot above the ground leaving something you had to step over to get in. This is because demons cannot lift their legs. Some methods of feng shui involve octagonal mirrors to ward off evil demons because aparently they cannot see their own face or something. So we're looking at something that cannot turn corners, lift it's legs or see it's own face. I don't know if anyone saw the Bruce Lee biographical movie, but that demon kicked ass. It used to give me nightmares as a kid, and it definitely turned corners. But I digress.

The gardens were beautiful. I took lots of pictures. After we left, we walked through the old city and the slums, managed to find our way back to the Bund again, I finally got to walk the prominade (that I didn't know existed) between the Bund and People's Square that I missed the first time due to my lack of directional capabilities and the Tai girls' laziness. It lit up like Las Vegas. When we got back to the Square, we took the metro back home. When I got home I watched Alians vs. Preditor 2. That's a shit movie. I paid a dollar for it.

The Bund

Friday morning, me, Wookie and the Tai girls went site seeing. We took a bus and the metro to get to The Bund, the most famous tourist spot in Shanghai. You can google image that as well. Beautiful in the day and even moreso in the night. The metro let us out at People's Square and we walked. Unfortunately, when looking at my map, I got the Chinese words for East and West mixed up and we walked almost 2 miles in the wrong direction. That's what people get for making me the guide. I didn't mind cuz liked the walk. It's the only excersize I get here and it helps me get to know the city. The Tai girls, however, insisted we take a taxi and see the sites out the window. They told me people don't walk in Tailand. (Mark?) I should have said something when we left and I noticed they were wearing high heels. Slipped my mind I guess. Eventually, they couldn't take it and had to take a taxi back. Me and Wookie trecked on, had a touristy dinner (expensive and crappy), walked the Bund again at night, and went home.

The Number 88

So 8 is a lucky number in China. Don't ask me why. The reason is kinda dumb. Remember this, I'll come back to it later. So my roommate's friends come to visit on Thursday night. All Korean. 2 speak about as much English as my roomate. The other's name is "Victor." Not only does he speak English, but he asked me what I think of Obama's politics vs. Hilary's. He also asked me if I saw the Manning Tyree pass in the 4th quarter and when we were discussing CHinese etiquite, he said, "When in Rome..." I asked him to please continue.

So we go out to a club in Shanghai called BonBon. This place was ridiculous. 88rmb (lucky number) covers your admission. That's like $10. This includes a table in kindof a private room, a big dance room for people who want to be social, a DJ who plays American hip hop and actually knows the words, and OPEN BAR ALL NIGHT. Not crap liquor either (or at least in not-crap bottles). Here's the beauty of Chinese open bar (not that there isn't beauty in every open bar), Chinese people don't drink so much so there's NEVER ANYONE AT THE BAR! Westerners are the main partygoers in China so the clubs make these deals to get the locals to partake. Result: the Westerners abuse the shit out of the deals and the locals have to be carried out after 4 drinks. Everyone on the dance floor loved me cuz I can cut a Persian and I knew all the words to all the songs. Another use for a useless talent. BTW there were fireworks going off ALL NIGHT. Beautiful.

Saturday night I met up with a bunch of Aussies, a few Brits, an American and a Scot to go to an Indian buffet. Again, for 88rmb, all you can eat, and again, ALL YOU CAN DRINK (but this only applies to beer). Not so bad though. When everyone finished our first plate, they were just sitting there. I asked if there was some etiquite (sp?) I didn't know about when it comes to getting more food. The American said "no, but the place doesn't close until 11:30 so we're pacing ourselves. I looked at my watch, and it was only 7:30. So this is how you're supposed to eat at a buffet with free beer... After that, we went over to a Pub called the British Bulldog, watched soccer and rugby and played free pool. Aparently all bar pool tables are free in China.

On the walk back to the Metro, I started to get my bearings because the pub, the Indian buffet, club Bonbon and the bar I went to on my birthday last week are all a 5 minute walk from each other. I think I found my neighborhood!

P.S.

The "gunshots" I heard the other day were probably fireworks. They go off randomly around here. Not like a full show, just 5-10 at a time. I think it's for the Chinese New Year. Today is Lantern Day. I think that means the end of the festival. Perhaps Rachel can back me up on that. I got one of those red paper balls to hang from my sprinkler system as a birthday present from Roy. What a guy

So Much to Write About...

Ok, so it's day 6 and still no diarrhia (sp?). I'm very surprised. I walked into this thing assuming I was gonna get sick on the first day as some sort of initiation. I've even been provoking it by brushing my teeth and rinsing my mouth out with the water even though I was warned not to. We'll see how it goes. Brushing your teeth with spring water twice a day can get expensive. When I first spoke with the woman about this program months back, she calmed my nerves by telling me that there are many foreign students in my program from different countries all around the world, and that I was not the only one. Apparently what she meant by "countries all around the world" was Korea, Japan, Tailand, Indonesia, and any other Asian country you can think of where the people don't speak English. This morning we had an opening ceremony for the foreign students. The whole thing was in Chinese. I'm not sure, but I think the entire audience had no idea what was going on. I have ADD which means I have trouble listening to speeches in English. The kid next to me had his headphones on. Who could blame him?

I did make friends with these two Tai girls named Bo and Jessie. I didn't realize when everyone said that they had a Western name, that they meant that kind of Western. I've started to compile these random groups of kids to go out with or eat lunch/dinner with. It's always a trip. we'll hang out with the two Tai girls who speak Tai, English (yay), and no CHinese, my roommate, who speaks Korean and a little CHinese, but no English, Roy who speaks Korean, a little English and a little Chinese, the Japanese girl who lives across the hall who only speaks Japanese, and this kid named Jae who is Korean, speaks great English, perfect Korean, Japanese, and has lived in China for 6 months, but somehow doesn't speak a word of Chinese. It's a riot.

Avi, you are right about Wikipedia. Many free thinking sites are blocked here cuz that would lead to freedom of thought. Web surfing is kinda tough. Usually you get that error message that you get in America that says you typed the address wrong or something. One time, when I went to some restricted site, I got a blank white page, and all it said was, "Um...you're in China???" It was really weird.

We ate at this place the other day where there are different things on skewers and you put them in your basket and you give it to them and they mix it all together in a big soup for you. Crazy! No Megan, not Hotpot. Not yet.

I have to give a special thanks to J Chan again for teaching me about the word "ni ge." I thought mad peoplez was dropping the N-bomb on me. I don't think they know the difference. I haven't seen a single Black person since I got here. I also have to give an EXTRA special thanks to Maria. I had to talk to my parents, so I imed Maria at 6 in the morning and asked her to call my parents, WHO SHE HAS NEVER MET, because I really needed to talk to them. You are a life saver Maria.

I have to apologize for such a long post. From email, facebook messages, and responses on this site, it turns out people are actually reading this. I honestly thought I was writing all this for nothing. You really do love me! So as a token (sp?) of my appreciation, I will stop writing now and will bear this in mind on my next post. DOn't worry though I will keep you updated in the future!

The Week Begins

Monday came and I finally got the chance to use the internet. It was also Brutha Emil B's birthday, so Happy birthday B! I only have internet in this place that is only opened on the weekdays from 12-9. Updating my blog is tough because blogs are illegal in China. I have to go to an anonymous web proxy to bypass the Chinese firewall. It's all very technical. Anyway, I met a guy named David from England. He has lived here for a year and he showed me how to buy a cell phone. Sweet. I still don't know the number, but when I get other people's I just call them and they'll get mine. I'm going to get a bike soon. They cost like $20 new. I also had registration today. So I'm actually a student! Things are starting to settle in for me, A LITTLE. It's still very frustrating though because the concept of customer service is an American thing. The only information I get is what I ask for and it's very hard getting in touch with the right people to ask. I also still have no idea where I am. I think I'm In Shanghai, but it's possible that I'm in a suburb. I got a roomate and his name is Wookhyun Jeong. Is he a relative of your's A Hae? He's from Korea. D, I'm sorry you've been replaced. Actually he doesn't speak English, and he won't let me call him W or Dubbs. Well actually maybe he will I haven't really asked him. Since neither of us speak each other's language, we both try to speak Chinese together. Both of our Chinese is pretty shotty, so it's pretty hard, but I talk with my hands and he's got one of those electronic communicators. All in all, he's a really awesome kid. I have so much more to write, but I told Wookie that I'd go out to dinner with him so more later. Oh and BTW, the doors in this room are glass and very clean. A few minutes, ago, I saw a Japanese kid walk into them. It was the funniest and saddest thing I ever saw in my life.

Karaoke at Xu Jia Hui

So the next morning, we woke up and went out for breakfast. We got this thing which was like an egg pie/pancake with bbq sauce (I think) and a big squishy noodle, or what seemed like fried dough in the middle. All Wrapped up and folded in half. It was the size of a burrito and it cost 2 yuan or a little more then $0.25. Then we picked up3 of Lances friens, went to a place called Xu Jia Hui which is kinda like Times Square except much bigger. Very commercial. There are like 10 shopping malls on one street corner. Google it for an image. The mall we went to was the Epcot-looking thing. So we go to this Karaoke place, but the way they do it here is you go in your own private room, kinda like the back room at a strip club (Mom and Dad, I mean that entirely from what I've heard from my friends). After 3 hours of karaoke, my CHinese language skills went way up and I had enough. We ate at this fast food place, which was still awesome for me cuz Chinese fast food is still an experience. One kid was good with numbers so I wrote 33 digits on a piece of paper, he looked at it for 120 seconds, and was able to recite them back to me, forwards, and backwards. Not to sound stereotypical, but I guess it's true what they say... BTW, Andrea, you were right about Shanghai-ese. They actually do speak that here. I thought you were just effing with me. And J Chan, thanks for the tip that you unknowingly gave me about how to keep a digital camera. And you were right about Chinese people eating a lot of spam. Scott, I think I figured out that smell you were talking about. It's kinda of like a mixture of fried food and garbage. Yummy! Fried garbage. There are a few tones of some other stuff in there as well. I'll let you know as my nose gets a little more trained. I had another early night sunday night. Still Jet lagged...

pt. 2: Lance and Roy

So I get back to my hotel and I remember that I have the number of the woman who set me up on this trip in the first place. So i call her, explain my predicament (sp?) and she sets me up on a playdate with this kid who works for her. His name is "Lance." He comes to my place, answers my billion questions, takes me out to dinner, and get this: In CHina, when it comes to dinner, 3 things I learned: soup comes last, everything has bones that you cannot see, and it's perfectly ok to spit them into a nice little neat pile of chewed food, bones, and saliva on the table. Yum. I go back to my room and take a nap. He calls me later, I grab this kid I met in the lobby several hours later named "Roy" and we all go out to this bar for beers. For the price of 3 beers in an American bar, we were able to buy a small keg for the table. Nice place. I love being an overnight billionaire. I also wore my cowboy hat into the bar so I was an instant hit. The people at the bar called me green-eyed Cowboy. Next to us, these people were playing a game. This one girl (who was really cute I might add) kept losing and when you lose, they dare you to do stuff. So her first dare was to give me a kiss. (Hooray) and the next time, somehow, her losing meant I had to drink a full glass of her wiskey. Glenfiddich. (Hooray again). She lost a bunch more times and had to do a bunch of dumb stuff. I do't know what they were playing, but whatever it was, she sucked at it, and that meant good business for me! We went home and went to bed because it was almost 2 and apparently Asians go to bed real early. BTW Happy Birthday to Suz and Kat as well...

Wo de Sheng Ri pt. 1

So that is Chinese for "My birthday" because I woke up and that's what it was. But I didn't know that at the time because it was dark outside and I didn't have a call phone, watch, or clock and neither did the room. When I turned on my laptop, it said 3 am so I sang a little Happy Birthday Ditty to myself. No, I didn't really do that. You know that feeling you get after a crazy night of drinking that you do not remember, and you wake up, and you have no idea where you are and you say to yourself "I seriously must have effed up because somehow I ended up here!"? Try ending up in CHINA! I thought I had made a huge mistake. I was by myself and I didn't know anyone and I didn't have a phone and I couldn't communicate with ANYONE. I figured whatever and I decided to go out exploring. I actually watched more TV and waited till 6 to go out cuz I figured it'd be a little more reasonable. So I start walking and writing down all the street names every time I turn just in case I get lost. I find this old market and I see women cutting turtles in half and selling them to people. I also saw this with fish and eel and other animals. All in various states: cooked, partly cooked, raw, and ALIVE! (mostly alive). I try my best to communicate with the people so I can buy some food and stuff. This was really hard because I was STARVING (go figure) but I didn't know what to say to buy food, nor did I understand money. Just when I was beginning to understand that I was in a 3rd world country, I turned the corner and there was something like a cross between Walmart, a grocery superstore, and a shopping mall, but much nicer and MUCH cheaper. (OK Time out. I think I hear gunshots. That's kind of scary.) Anyway I buy a watch for like $8 which is a LOT of money here and some other odds and ends. (Ok the gunshots are done now, phew). Where was I. Oh yea and then I found their version of 5th avenue or Rodeo drive, but at target prices. Lets put it this way: If you like buying lots of stuff but not paying a lot of money for it, then China is the right place for you. Oh and Scott, thanks for the heads up about there not being any toilets in China. And Megan, thanks for the heads up about there not being any TP! On my way back, I see some guy selling stuff on the street. I'm looking at his knives. He's selling a machete for like $10. A real machete! I say I don't wanna buy it and he goes lower! I love this country! He hands me something that looks like a stick and says that it will give me better stamina. I'm like "what is it?" After several minutes of him explaning, I figure out that I'm holding Tiger testicles. I say thank you, give them back to him and walk away. Delicious.

The Other Side of the Wormhole

Ok so I touch ground, and get picked up by a girl named "Jessica." I put it in quotes because I don't remember how to pronounce or spell her real name but lots of people in China have a Western name they choose for themselves so the dummies (like me) can pronounce them. "Jessica" is really nice. She brings me to the hotel, helps me check in, and says "Any questions?" She looked like she was in a hurry and I didn't want to keep her so I said no. She said "registration is monday morning 8:30 am" and she left. I had no idea where to go to register except the packet they sent me a few weeks ago said building 5. It's not like I had a tour or had any idea where building 5 was. It also wasn't like I could ask anyone. Not to mention that it was Friday and I had no idea what to do until Monday seeing as how I don't know how money works and I don't speak Chinese and NO ONE speaks English except "Jessica." SO I just watched a little Chinese TV, and went to bed. 9:00 I figured I'd figure it out tomorrow.

Plane Ride

Ok, I was just kidding. Haha. Don't worry about me. I made it to China and it is awesome! Since I am horrible at keeping long stories short, in fact I am quite amazing at making short stories long, I will try to break it up into sub-stories to make my blog more readable. Here's the story about the plane ride: It was shorter than expected. I miscalculated the time difference and thought it was a 6 hour flight and a 17 hour flight. The second one was only 11 hours so that was a nice surprise. The first plane was real nice. I got to listen to the Britany Spears CD and watch Jerry McGuire. I figured the second one, being the 11 hour one would be even nicer. It was dingy and old. There was a 2 year old girl next to me eating seaweed. WTF

HELP

I'm in a Chinese Prison! I forgot my passport in America and they think I'm some kind of terrorist! I haven't eaten in days! You get 1 hour of internet a week for good behavior so I figured I'd spend my time posting on my blog...

Countdown

So it's almost midnight and I can't sleep. Not that it would do me much good because my flight is at 7:20 am tomorrow and I'm trying to get there 3 hours early. I just spent my last night in my amazingly comfortable bed (ladies you know what I'm talking about). I said my goodbyes: lunch with Jake, Michaels Diner with Toby, I even made a special "detour" to NYC to meet Scott for coffee. I can't believe that girl still actually thought we went to the superbowl! I have no idea what the hell I'm getting myself into. All my preperation over the last few months has been to get me to this point. I feel like Kurt Russel or McGuiver must have felt the first time they walked through the Stargate, you know that verticle hot tub looking thing, and I have no idea what's on the other side. Oh well, all I have to do now is get on the plane and hope that I don't end up on the next episode of Lost. But if everything goes according to plan, when the 6'2" 265 lb man with the scruff and the cowboy hat gets off the plane, in the words of Ben Farbowitz, "China isn't gonna know what hit it!"

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to my blog! This post is not that exciting, but I leave for China on February 14 (6 days) and the adventures will begin immediately. My birthday is February 16, and I plan on making it one for the history books! Stay tuned for the Amazing Adventures of Gabe Miller!